Most of you have probably never been in a newsroom. It can be a bit chaotic at times - TV blaring CNN, phones ringing, keys clacking, reporters talking loudly, me dropping the occasional expletive. And in the 14 years I've been doing this, I've only heard of one thing being "banned" from any of those newsrooms - the "P" word.
The "P" word banishment is a recent development as several of us are readying ourselves for bathing suit season by a strict diet and exercise regiment.
Pepperoni, extra cheese, bacon, a side of cheesy bread... I'm wiping away drool as I type.
Pizza is a newsroom staple, one of the five food groups of journalists, the only meal ever fed to reporters by editors (typically on election night) and now we're not allowed to say it for fear of an emotional breakdown that would lead to an overindulgence undoing the gallons of sweat we've dripped from our treadmills over the past few months.
The word pizza was banned about a month ago following a conversation discussing the difference in the local pizza places and how each are delicious in their own ways.
The conversation continued to other derivatives of pizza, like calzones, Pizza Rolls, Hot Pockets, c-store pizza sticks, fair pizza-on-a-stick... basically we love pizza any way we can get it.
We even love those frozen Totino Pizzas. I don't really know what they taste like — they certainly don't taste like pizza, but we like them. And they're only 98 cents! These pizzas are the one thing inflation hasn't hit.
Now I'm thinking about pizza and can't concentrate on anything except satisfying the craving for spicy pepperoni and gooey cheese. Seriously, I've been staring at the previous sentence for 10 minutes not worrying so much about how to end this column but am I going to break down and visit Midway Pizza on my next trip to New Orleans. (Write that one down for your next trip to the Big Easy - it's a MUST!)
I'm now at 17 minutes of writer's block so I'll just leave you with a reminder - no "P" word in the newsroom. And if you go out for "P" this weekend, have a slice for me.
Kristi Martin is an award-winning journalist and reporter for the Press-Herald. Connect with her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter @writtennred.