Several things have taken place this year that have contributed to my sadness. First the death of a friend of long ago, in fact an old friend. It seems that things bring a long lasting sadness since I am so old. Normally I could, in days long ago, find something to look forward to and in a fashion get my mind off the sadness, but not now.
I always have prided myself on being happy, and cultivated what Lottie Barnette taught me, the secret of a quiet heart. But not now. Too many shocks have entered my life and I find I just want to cry all the time. I hate "pity parties" but I am having them quite regularly now. In fact, this will be one of the saddest Christmases since J. C. went Home to be with Jesus.
Perhaps tomorrow will look brighter, at least I am one day closer to getting out of this world of sadness and disappointments.
I'm sending in one of my "nuttier" Cameos. I call it "Foolish Questions."
Some quizzes have puzzling questions such as these:
1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. Is it legal in Louisiana for a man to marry his widow's sister?
3. How much dirt is in a hole three feet deep, l8 inches wide, and four feet long?
4. If a plane crashes on the border or the state line between Arkansas and Oklahoma, in which state will they bury the survivors?
5. Why is it that you always find whatever you have lost in the last place you look?
6. When you lose something people will ask where you lost it.
Read the following questions you hear almost every day and at the close of this column you will find the answers to the above six questions.
Hand someone a beautifully wrapped package with a bow on top, and say "Happy Birthday!" and invariably they will say "Is this for me?"
Appear in the yard, nicely dressed and answer the neighbor's question: "Where are you going." I answer: " To Mr. Jones' funeral." And the neighbor will stop with an open mouth and say "Is he dead?" I answer that they think he is and that is why they are burying him.
A friend calls your home late at night or early such as l or 2 in the morning and that friend will say "Did I wake you up?"
Or ring the door bell at 12:25 Noon and when you answer the door wiping your mouth with a napkin the person will say: "Were you eating?"
Fall off a ladder or slip on ice and hear someone say: "Are you hurt?" Of course not, my foot always had the heel in front and the toes in back of my leg.
Introduce your son by saying "this is my son." And one of the dummies in the group will turn to you and say "Are you his mother?" I thought so.
Hand someone a dish, or a pot with a pot holder, they grasp it without a pot holder and set it down quickly and listen as someone says;: "Was it hot?"
Put in a hard day's work around the house, washing, ironing, cooking, mopping, vacuuming and that night as you stretch and yawn, someone will say: "You're not tired are you?"
This really happened, A young college student called the church where I worked and asked: "Can you tell me what time the 12:30 Bible Study meets?" He really wanted to know. I very gravely answered: "l2:30."
The nurse gives you a shot with a needle that looks abut 5 inches long and then she says: 'Now that didn't hurt, did it?"
The waitress comes to your table and picks up the plates as you reach for another forkful of the entrée and she says: "You were through with your plate weren't you?"
(No, that is why I haven't finished the entrée and am still eating it.)
Answers to the first six questions at the beginning of this article:
1. Yes, they have a Fourth of July, but it is not a national holiday in England. It is a day we remember in the United States because it was the day of the first signing of the
Declaration of Independence.
2. If a man has a widow, he is dead.
3. Holes don't have any dirt in them, they are HOLES.
4. We don't bury the survivors — only the casualties.
5. You quit looking when you find what you were looking for.
6. If you knew where you lost it you wouldn't have to look for it.
Of you are guilty of these questions, too, I'll just say "Here's your sign."
Juanita Agan submitted a weekly column to the Press-Herald for more than 15 years until her deathin 2008. She was a resident of Minden since 1935. The Press-Herald is republishing select articles from Mrs. Agan's Cameos column every Wednesday.