I hate spam, don't you? Not edible Spam, mind you, but trash spam – the junk you receive in your e-mail handler. When fried, I like canned Spam; I just wish I could fry some of the dudes who send me tons of the other kind.
I've gotten quite proficient at deletin' the junk messages, though. The problem is that I get into such a big hurry that I sometimes delete a message I wanted to keep or had yet to read. It's a good thing it's not really deleted, but goes to a "deleted" file where you can retrieve it. After that, you can delete it for good if you so choose. Whoever devised e-mail must have known ol' Galen pulled the "delete trigger" very quickly.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a delete button in your car or truck? When that goofball who drives 35 in a 55 zone speeds up to 70 in the passin' zone, or the turkey puttin' on makeup, eatin' a three course meal, or textin' Facebook while drivin' and cruisin' six inches from your rear bumper, you can punch the delete button. Poof! No more goofball or turkey!
You know, I'm afraid that computers, the internet, and e-mail, have almost done away with writin'. I tend to believe that's one reason why a lot of kids today don't know how to compose a business letter. Many don't know how to communicate and/or compromise with others. They don't know how to handle a face to face confrontation because they are so accustomed to "texting" one another, and never have to look anyone in the eye.
Spelling is another example of where text messaging has created a problem. For example, I would write something like this: "Can you see the flag?" A text message would be something like this: "cn u c flg". Obviously the important thing is to get your intent across, but if you want to impress someone, the abbreviated way ain't gonna do it!
Oh, well. At least I haven't had the following happen to me. I'm not sure if the tale is true, but if it is, it is still hilarious! It concerns an e-mail accidentally sent to the wrong address.
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida for a few weeks vacation, and thaw out from a bitterly cold winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon some twenty years earlier.
However and because of hectic schedules, they could not both fly out of Minneapolis at the same time. So the husband left on Thursday with his wife to fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel upon arrival, and once in his room, discovered a computer was available for the guest's use. Thinking it would be nice to e-mail his wife, he sat down and type out a message. Unfortunately, he omitted one letter from her e-mail address, and failing to catch the mistake, he clicked the "send" button.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who had passed away from a massive heart attack. Searching for something to occupy her thoughts, she decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from friends and relatives.
After reading the first message, she screamed loudly and fainted. Her son, who was in the other room, came running into the room to see what was the problem. After his mother had somewhat regained consciousness, she pointed toward the computer. The son read the following message:
"To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
Message: I know you're surprised to hear from me, but they have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!"
Galen White lives in Homer. His column runs weekly in the Minden Press-Herald.