Minden Press-Herald

Oct 02nd

Dumb Compared to Dumb

You know, I have about as much confidence in our so-called "leaders" in Washington, D.C. as I do in meeting Elvis in his flying saucer! Their arguments for or against some things easily exposes their bonehead mentality. For example, gun control. They blame an inanimate object for an irresponsible act. Brilliant, no?

If that was truly the case, then, as someone said, automobiles cause drunk driving and pencils cause misspelled words! I'm sorry, but passing more restrictive laws has absolutely NO effect on anyone seriously desiring to perform a criminal act. Isn't it obvious that in "no guns allowed" areas, confidence is provided the criminal that there will be no one there to stand in the way of his mayhem?

Okay, I've gone to preachin'! However, I came across a few instances where there are others who can easily be compared to the above mentioned crowd. They are called "dumb crooks". Of course, not all are crooks, but in my humble opinion, all are dumb.

Now, the caveat is that I don't have proof that all of the following instances are true. However and using our "leaders" as the guideline, I have no problem believin' every one of 'em. See if you don't agree with me.

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. (Now, had it been $15 bills...)

A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. (By today's standards, the fourteen pedestrians aren't dumb! Liars and thieves? Sure. But certainly not dumb.)

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, and a few days later, accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery.

At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Now, this last one really got my goat! I just wonder how much thought and consideration really went into the passage of this law.

The Chico, California City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

Really? Only a $500 fine? And after the nuclear explosion, who is going to collect the fine may I ask? Oh, I know. Elvis must be an honorary police officer there.

Galen White lives in Homer. His column runs weekly in the Minden Press-Herald.






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