Minden Press-Herald

Wednesday
Oct 01st

Daffynitions

One of the most hated events of my early school daze..., er, days, was having to write spellin' words ten times each. I couldn't figure out why the teacher believed spelling a word ten times in a row would make me get it right. After all, if I couldn't spell the word right the first time, what made her think I'd get it right the other nine times?

Had I a choice, I would rather have written a sentence using the word than to write the same word ten times. You take twenty spellin' words written ten times each and that's a couple thousand words! By the time I was finished my hands were..., 'scuse me? It ain't a thousand words? Oh... Well, shuckin's! I hated math, too!

Now, my nephew, Bobby, had the right idea..., at least, in my humble opinion. His teacher didn't agree with us, but you know how teachers are. Anyway and when Bobby was in the second grade or so, he was instructed to write a sentence using his twenty spelling words. He wrote the following: "My teacher told me to write a sentence using the following spelling words"..., and he proceeded to list the twenty words. I thought he was a genius! However and like I said, his teacher had a whole 'nuther description.

Regardless, I came across an email that contained a few words and their "daffynitions". I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Chickens: The only animal you eat before they are born and after they have died.

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation

Handkerchief: Cold storage.

Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin: A grape with a sunburn.

Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Galen White lives in Homer. His column runs weekly in the Minden Press-Herald.

 

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