Minden Press-Herald

Tuesday
Sep 30th

It’s a Blast

Just when you thought you'd seen every use for cardboard boxes (i.e., containers) imaginable, along comes a company somewhat appropriately tagged Explo (seems they left off the "de" in the naming process) with an entirely new way to put the wood-pressed product to work.

Got about six million pounds of explosive powder lying around? Grab a ton of cardboard boxes and start shovelin'. Just be sure you don't hit something sparkable with that there spade or you'll be launched quicker'n a Congressperson can take a pay raise. And, make sure you company's execs are way out of the country (as in Korea) just in case a detonation factor kicks in.

While you're at it, make sure those "containers" of your explosive powder are stored outside, as in, open to the elements...as in, wonder what would happen if a thunderstorm rolled into your area with a little cloud-to-ground lightning strike. Anyone need a quick man-made lake?

Many of us understand the hazards of dealing with hazardous materials. Surely handling these things isn't easy nor is it cheap. But this newly-discovered technique is certainly an eyebrow raiser. Ironically, were it not for an Explo—sion at the Camp Minden site in October, these neatly stacked rows of potential devastation may not have been discovered.

Thank heaven that investigators looking into that October 15 blast were making their list and checking it twice. An aside: Wonder what words came out of the mouths of those who first found out what was in those containers?

We understand that removal of the explosives is continuing as quickly and cautiously as possible. The boxes reportedly are being moved to secure areas. Hopefully this process will be completed safely, and the Explo execs can then return from their Korean adventure with answers. Many of us would like to know which genius decided on the storage procedure uncovered by state and local investigators.

Surely you jest

Anyone hoping that the reelection of President Barak Obama meant there would be a statesmanlike compromise coming between Republicans and the White House over this fiscal cliff thing is either delusional or demented. All that has been accomplished thus far is the gap between the two sides is, if anything, widening and the fiscal cliff is becoming a trip into a bottomless pit.

Fear not, though. Word from insiders in D.C. is that the president is calling on a group of experts to offer advice on tax rates and other matters associated with the looming deadline.

According to a Huffington Post (reliable?) reporter, MSNBC's tremendous trio of Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O'Donnell were seen entering the West Wing of the White House enroute to an invitation only cranial fest with Mr. Obama.

Now we don't want to toss cold water on this summit conference featuring America's best and brightest, but this very well might be compared to having The Three Stooges offer advice to the Pentagon on its new weaponry. That could lead to the development of a new drone which would launch the dreaded pie attack.

About the only productive thing Sharpton, Maddow and O'Donnell can bring to the fiscal competency discussion is a twelve-pack of domestic beer.

Where do I enroll?

Attention parents and educators: Having problems deciding the best way to handle sex education? Worry no more. A San Francisco group has solved that little annoyance for you.

Kink.com (that is the name, you skeptic), a SanFran-based pornography production house, is offering sex education classes...with live demonstrations by porn stars. No, Virginia, these classes are not offered in California classrooms (yet). They are being held in San Francisco's Armory building, sans guards.

Of course, those interested in organizing field trips should first understand that the "instructors" only begin the hands-on part of the program following a lecture and a Q&A session. That's right, Playboy readers. You must first really read the articles before you can scan the photos.

No word yet on whether or not this potential learning tool has captured the imagination of California educators. But the state that brings us Hollywood surely can find a way to bring a real sexy education to its students.

Pat Culverhouse is a journalist and political columnist who lives in Minden. You may contact him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

 

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