Minden Press-Herald

Oct 01st

Daughter uses ‘Conspiracy theory’ in birthing babies

Sometime many moons ago, my mom and dad decided they'd do something that would one day mess with the mind of their eldest son, who happens to be yours truly.

They decided to have me in late March. I'm sure it never crossed their minds way back then that Louisiana would one day have a spring turkey season, the height of which would be going on right around my birthday. Occasionally, opening day actually falls on my March 29 birthday.

A few years ago, I had done my scouting, found some turkeys and was all geared up for opening day, which that year was on my birthday. Since all my children are grown and gone, I assumed I'd be able to enjoy opening day in peace and when I returned home that night, I'd open the gifts mailed to me by my kids and Kay would have me a nice birthday cake and special meal prepared.

The day before season opened, daughter Melissa and her husband Ross offered to host us for dinner commemorating my birthday. We were to meet at a restaurant for the special meal. No problem; we'd enjoy the meal and company and I could be back home in bed for a good night's sleep before opening day.

When we got there, my other two daughters, sons in law and grandchildren were waiting to surprise me; they'd driven up from Baton Rouge and planned to stay the weekend to make sure my birthday was extra special, which it was.

However, admittedly it was not the easiest thing I ever did to act pleased and humbled at their generous gesture. I couldn't get the image of that old long beard strutting and gobbling in my woods the next morning. I'd, of course, be home surrounded by my adoring kin.

Thanks mom and dad; the conspiracy theory you unwittingly put into motion way back then was alive and well and working.

I survived that birthday celebration and enjoyed the company. In fact, I even took some of the grandkids fishing although admittedly in my mind, I kept thinking I heard turkeys gobble all morning.

Fast forward a few years. Melissa became pregnant and we were thrilled. I remember asking her when our newest grandchild would make its arrival.

"Early October," she replied. I paused for a moment in expressing my joy at another grandchild coming to the family. Early October – that'll be around opening day of squirrel season. I love turkey hunting and chasing bushy-tails is my second favorite sport. I'm wondering if Melissa somehow got wind of the conspiracy theory set in motion by my parents long years before she was born.

Olivia arrived right on schedule around opening day of squirrel season and her birthday party every year puts me in the position of having to choose between helping her celebrate or heading to the woods.

Then there was Sophie. Surely Melissa and Ross had improved their baby birth planning by now. Nope; Sophie was born on April 23, right at the peak of gobbling for turkeys. More decisions at birthday party time. At least, there'd be no more conflicts because they were through having babies. Or so we thought....

Melissa is expecting her third and the date of delivery? Surely not another conflict, would you think? Yep; she's due to have baby number three right around the opening of deer season, another sport I look forward to with bated breath.

Somehow for me, birthdays and hunting seasons just don't jibe. I can't help but think that the conspiracy theory put in motion decades ago by my mom and dad is still alive and kicking today.

Glynn Harris Outdoors is proudly sponsored by DSK, Ltd. of Minden.






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